Be on the lookout for these dangerous gang members (Part Three ~ Finis)

Known only by ‘J’ to the dork underworld he was infiltrating, he played the mole convincingly:

'To Costello and Lansky, the ability to corrupt politicians, policemen and judges was fundamental to Mafia operations,' Summers wrote. 'The way they found to deal with Hoover, according to several mob sources, involved his homosexuality.'

Hoover's folly was compounded by being involved in at least two orgies at the Plaza Hotel by the late attorney Roy Cohn and Lewis S. Rosensteil, the Schenley liquor mogul and benefactor of Brandeis University who had ties to to both Costello and Lansky, the book asserts, quoting Rosensteil's fourth wife, Susan.

Mrs. Rosensteil claims to have attended the orgies with her husband in 1958. On the first occasion Hoover, whom Mrs. Rosensteil had met and recognized, was wearing 'a fluffy black dress, very fluffy, with flounces, and lace stockings and high heels, and a black curly wig.'

'He had makeup on, and false eyelashes. It was a very short skirt and he was sitting there in the living room of the suite with his legs crossed. Roy introduced him as 'Mary.''

On the second occasion, Hoover was wearing a similar dress but in red with a black feather boa around his neck 'like an old flapper, like you see on old tintypes,' Rosensteil said.

Young boys joined the party and engaged in sexual activities with Hoover, Cohn, and her husband, according to Rosensteil, who said Hoover had one of the boys read from the Bible while the other played with him.

I repeat: FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover was wearing 'a fluffy black dress, very fluffy, with flounces, and lace stockings and high heels, and a black curly wig.'

A bonafide G-Man was J, by every oral history account. A master of disguise and subversive perversivity like nobody could believe, that old flappy flouncy patriotic crimebuster was the real deal. So he knew the members of these rival gangs, knew them intimately.

Then he laid out an elaborate trap. He laid out more than anybody before laid out for anybody. He was the most laying lady lay G-man in our history of the histories, this sultry little gargoyle bulldog of a guy. He even had one of the boys reading Bible passages while another wiggled his tallywhackjobbie.

And that’s how he took down Dillinger, Machine Gun Kelly and went down on so many others.

If only.

Historians dismiss his sex life as speculation, rumor and hearsay. As a lifelong bachelor with a decades long underling as his companion, he may have been just an asexual bachelor living with his mum. Historians take the fun out of everything.

What they agree on is he went after communists and gays and racial minorities and antiwar protesters without regard for the frilly nonsense of any attention to rights and laws and formal niceties of that ilk.

Today’s All Points Bulletin from the FBI follows closely on the First American alerts provided by the Coalition of Patriotic Proud Oathy Thin Blue Anti-Antibodies Cowpokes of Unlaid Resentful County. Their research demonstrated that the economic competition with China, nuclear war threats from Russia, multiple deadly virus spreads, opioid and fentanyl overdoses, global burning and windfall oil profits didn’t pose as big a threat to misunderstood white billionaire bullies as were the people wearing opposite-sex things.

With vigilante cowpoke groups cropping up in San Antonio, Columbus Ohio, Eugene Oregon, Staten Island, Lakeland Florida and other woke liberal hide-outs across the country, the C.O.P.P.O.T.B.A.A.C.O.U.R.C has taken the lead in threatening drag queens and kings who read stories to kids. And the FBI is racing to catch up.

Now alerted to this growing danger, FBI agents have infiltrated libraries and Target cosmetics counters before presenting evidence to grand juries that the gangs engage in crimes that endanger all of humanity. Such as:

- excessive grooming with blush
- deep shadow of eyehole covers
- insulting ear canals with unrealistic falsettos.
- conspiracy to vaudeville with really old puns
- oppression of endangered feather boas

And beware, they may be armed with inordinately thicc fishnets.

Identification of these Drag Gangsters: defining the differences.

The first chart displays the desirable neighborly accessories of perfectly average law-abiding citizens.

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Distinctly different are those gangbanging nancypants who flaunt these weaponized grooming draggy bits.

It cannot be emphasized enough: the Queens, Kings, Cross-Dressing Trannies, Transgenders, Frooties and Furries seek the end of White Meth-head incels ever getting procreative again.

It’ll be way more than cryptocurrency shrinkage concerning us if they start reading Goodnight Moon to our kids so we just gotta stop ‘em now!

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UPDATE: Interpol just added a fresh pair to be on the lookout for.

Our two intrepid journalists also discovered, besides the dangerous oppression of billionaires that went on at Crunchiness HQ, that the Drag Gangs threat we’re facing today could have been nipped in the bud had FBI Director J just successfully deported the Godfeather of Drag who first brought them all to our pristine dinah shores.

The Polish Italian Władziu Valentino Liberace (AKA: Walter Busterkeys)