The Lighter Side of the Apocalypse Beckons

Headlines that made me laugh…

Stephen Miller: Heavily redacted Trump affidavit shows that US is now a banana republic

As shown here, he was on Fox News making the case that some third rate bureaucrats at the National Archives kicked off a ludicrous search of the Greatest Man’s home in Mar-A-Leako. Which is somehow related to bananas. Miller, though, has never possessed one. Not even a hairless one.

But as has been made clear repeatedly, Miller just wants us to be a White Eggplant Republic.

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And this title quote:

Even the ultra conservative Bill Kristol, one of the Project For A New American Century whackdoodles who tried to get Bill Clinton to overthrow Iraq in the 1990s, considers this a bimbo too far.

(And before you launch a drive to get your school board to ban lesbian dance moves, there are no theories about them anywhere on the planet, except in a basement storage room at Mar-a-Leako. Also Lauren has confused the Karens in her own party - who regularly verbally abuse and call the cops on people doing normal stuff while brown or black - with the moms of college students. She finds colleges suspicious as hell since she’s never seen one. )

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Here’s another cute one.

Some mysteries remain mysteries because that’s how classified stuff works. Classified stuff wasn’t invented to torture an ex-president with. A certain amount of it keeps intel personnel safe and the country safe. You can’t even imagine how and where it’s kept so anti-USA drektators can’t find it. Also, you can’t even imagine how and where Karl Rove’s been kept or why anyone decided to find him and ask him about this theory.

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And for the first time ever, I hope Ted Cruz is right. Via TMZ:

As I moved all over the country as a military brat, it didn’t take me long to deduce there were some racist people everywhere. Now there’s coffee snobs and bong rippers in every state in the union, this union that continues to prevail.

I’ve known people marching in military parades and cops who do both, as well. And small business owners. Minimum wage earning store clerks. Factory workers. Farmers. Mechanics. CEOs. Teachers in religious charter schools.

Does Cruz even know any ordinary people? What kind of bubble does he encase himself in while he hangs from his feet to sleep?

Me? I’m more of a coffee slob. I’m fine with a French Vanilla latte from a 7-11 pseudo-latte machine, plus a dash of some Costa Rican mild coffee if the pot’s fresh. A buck a refill. I don’t use bongs. I hope Mr. Cruz knows us cheap-ass intermittent joint-ripping coffee slobs will be helping Dems win, too. Coffee and cannabis are legal and aren’t causing insurrections, national security breaches, ripping away women and voter rights, threatening to hang vice presidents, so yeah, bring on the Barista-Americans to put someone useful in Congress.

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‘Civil War’ is trending on Twitter again as I write this. It’s become the one size fits all remedy for any Republican grievance, including when their kegs run out of beer, their DUIs are ‘exposed’ by ‘the Deep State’ or their favorite lesbian porn videos are taken off Cornhub. It has been popping up since November 2020.

There are dangerous and dangerously stupid people here and there whose delusions cause painful outcomes to lots of innocents. Charlie Manson thought he could start a race war half a century ago, Timothy McVeigh more recently and a host of other religious and militia nuts with their sporadic but consistently dumb schemes. Civil War talk is a great way to draw police and intel agents to one’s yard without any milkshakes at all.

A message to all civil warrior wannabes:

Many of the January 6 insurrectionists will go down in history as the dumbest in the national history litter for posting their guilt all over social media. They never quite figured out how evidence is used. Hell, well more than half of them got turned in by their ex-wives and ex-girlfriends. They never figured out women, either, it would seem.

’Civil War’ ? Don’t make me laugh. My lips are chapped. And don’t go shooting people. That won’t bring any positive results for your ass, so be less dumb to get a better life. And your silly flags, c’mon, really? Advertising your dumbness is practically 4th stage terminal dumb.

This, Mrs. Boebert will tell you, is the very very dangerous antifa but most Americans are quick to spot a common drapery thief.

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The question of the day still not being asked: WHY did the ex-President steal national security documents then refuse to surrender them after more than a year of negotiations? Why would anyone want to do that? Forget the excuses, name-calling, threats and legal diversions. Members of the media and judges and juries should keep asking why. Till they find that answer. The rest is just blather and poppycock.

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As the offline household juggles and worries continue, there’s nothing new to add. We proceed in a forward direction and I feel pretty positive that these are temporary puzzles that will be resolved shortly.

I’m hoping one of the words of the year will be ‘theory’ because the past two years has seen them critters multiplying like over-caffeinated bunnies on fertility carrots. I have some far more logical ones of my own which I‘ll relate before the fall brings us the usual horror of pumpkin spice realities and critically dumbass campaigns.

When I get to that, be sure to bring your own pet theories to the conversation too.

And remember: Love is many-splendored.