The War on Christmas, v. 2022, Part 5 of 4

My numbering system is part of the magic of Christmas so quit whining

So remember, there’s a bright line between reverence and sacrilege when it comes to the faith of others.

HAPPY CHATTANOOGA! (If you’re orthodox, not to worry, this is plant-based bacon for your plant-based plate)

HAPPY VEGANMAS!

So when December approaches, don’t worry about the humbugs.

Winter can be unnerving, for sure.

You can still find ways to make the best of it.

Even if you lack a chimney, Rudolph will find a way to deliver Santa to you.

The Three Kings (painting by Miki de Goodaboom) will show up too.

And Santa will ALWAYS be around, silently judging you.

He knows who's a good girl or good boy and who's fronting for a criminal gang.

So decorate any way that you wanna. Go ahead and celebrate Carwanzaa even.

I promise, Santa will have your back despite the heathen war.

I know. It’s hard to contain your joy at this news. But try.

My wish to each of you reasonably likeable often above average people is this:

Which only leaves my New Year wishes to finish the holiday season. So yeah, you gotta check that out too. Finishing this on the 12th day of Christmas. Faster than a Republican can choose a Speaker.

Now take me to the New Year’s rumble. I need some music.